Politics & Funk

Meet Sally Kern.

Mrs. Kern is a former Oklahoma City social studies teacher and currently represents Oklahoma City in the state legislature. At a recent Republican club meeting, she unleashed a homophobic tantrum that was captured on tape.

During her tirade, Kern accused “Gays of infiltrating our city councils,” and attempting to “indoctrinate students as young as two years old with the homosexual agenda.” She went on to call homosexuality a “deadly cancer,” and declare that “the homosexual agenda is destroying this nation,” and “is the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism.”

Lastly, she reminded attendees that “studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than two decades. ”

I’d really like to get my hands on that study.

Although we question Mrs. Kern’s research skills, Politics & Funk agrees that the gay agenda is a ruthless one.

In fact, every day the lesbians down the street from our office use aggressive tactics such as blaring Ani Difranco and refusing to sleep with men in order to further subjugate our editorial staff. They’ve stated that their vicious, gay jihad won’t end until we make a minimum of three Elton John playlists, or start dressing more appropriately.

For more on the Mrs. Kern’s anti-gay crusade, check out the video below and marvel at her psychosis and sweet, country drawl.